I
flunked retirement! This is evidence-based: just look at this column—I’m not
sitting by the fireplace doing my knitting in my rocking chair. (Actually, it
would be needlepoint in a recliner.)
When
you think of retirement, what images come to mind? For me it always was an
ocean, a sunset, a palm tree.
Well,
I have all three right out of my bedroom window, and it did not do the trick.
So, what are the options? In thinking about retirement, I divided people into
three levels of work/leisure.
1.
Those that
indeed are happy to play golf or bridge, read a book, spend time with
grandchildren, garden, cook, attend a class, volunteer a couple of hours a
week, go on a cruise once a year. They are definitely retired.
2.
Then there are
those that are semi-retired. They do some of the above, but they also have a
part-time job such as consultant or their volunteer activities entail some
responsibility that they cannot shirk at will. It can be as active board
members or wherever others rely on you . You need to show up.
3.
And finally
there are those who have an F in retirement. They may have tried the life of
leisure for thirty seconds and did not like it and just continue what they have
always done, but at a different schedule or different position. Within that
group there is a whole new category: the retirees who have re-invented
themselves into a new type of full-time worker.
I
recently got an e-mail from a doctor who had operated on my husband many years
ago and with whom I have remained a long-distance friend. He wrote that his
skills as a surgeon will be waning as he is aging and since he has never
developed any other skills nor interests, he was wondering what he could do
next. So we’re talking about re-inventing yourself. This is the chance to
experience a whole new way of being, thinking, learning, living—so the
questions to ask oneself are the following:
1.
Think of some
of the happiest times in your life—when you felt most fulfilled and productive.
What were you doing then? What made you happy? What skills were you using? What
interactions with others were you having?
2.
Were there
people you admired or envied and wished you were in their shoes? What were
these people doing?
3.
Did you have
fantasies about yourself in some wondrous adventures like when you were young
what did you dream of being?
4.
When you read
a newspaper, magazine, journal, what do you read first—what draws your
immediate interest besides what you need to read professionally?
5.
Now, when you
put all that information together, do you see a pattern? Something maybe even in
your unconscious, that road not taken, that dream unfulfilled. We don’t have to
become experts at some new ventures, but we can take classes in subjects we
were curious about, go to events and meet people whose interests could match
yours, volunteer in an organization that has nothing to do with your previous
work, in other words—you will be living on a new learning curve. What fun is
that!
You
will happily flunk retirement when you will do something that gives you that
proverbial dopamine kick. This feeling of great pleasure and satisfaction when
you do something that gives you a high—your brain expressing that other
feel-good hormone—a little adrenaline circulating in your blood making you feel
alive.
This
is not advice—this is to help you become aware of options—all equally valid.
1.
Move quietly
and happily into a comfortable old age,
2.
Do a bit here
and there just enough to stay tuned, or
3.
Get out of your
comfort zone and re-invent yourself.
We
all have default settings for the way he have lived our lives and the choices
we have made. Here is a new opportunity to re-examine those default settings
and either remain constant or try something new. To paraphrase Socrates: Only a
re-examined life is worth living.
Good
Luck!
Copyright © 2013. Natasha
Josefowitz. All rights reserved.
